Duncan Edwards is getting a bit bored of the same old tired away performances from the same old tired squad members. Time for a change up.
Unacceptable. Not good enough. Didn't match them. Lacked energy. Individual mistakes cost us.
Blah, blah bloody blah.
I haven't even bothered reading, listening to or discussing any post match reaction but it's reasonable to assume that one/some or all of the above probably slotted in somewhere. What once seemed like candid and honest reflection now appears to be our own version of "crap excuse bingo".
Bingo is quite apt too; full houses at home, the pitch has four corners and we play like pensioners half the time.
That's not fair though, it's not just those of a certain age that play bingo and we play like pensioners far more than half the time.
I looked at the official team sheet at 2pm and wondered why I'd been so pessimistic about our chances. Wednesday hadn't been playing great, we looked better man for man and the bench had millions of pounds worth of talent perched on it.
Unfortunately the game wasn't played on the teamsheet or in my unfathomably optimistic mind. In fact, what we serve up away from home can barely be described as playing football at all.
There's no need to look at teamsheets, to consult Twitter or even turn Radio Norfolk on; simply cast your mind back to the last away performance you witnessed and then see how you fancy our chances?
You couldn't. It's not just abject or "below par" - we're bloody dreadful off our own patch. In fact, it's a pity we can't stick our squad in HMP Norwich so we have to play all our fixtures at home and given how criminal some of our defending is we might find an obliging judge.
The truth is that we're weak.
There's no heart, fight, belief or even pride. What on EARTH gets said in the pre-match huddle? I reckon they're just drawing straws to see which unlucky bugger gets the post-match presser.
The squad has some great "servants" in it but it's gone stale. A bit like a wedding cake. Lovely in its time, still looks great on photos five years later but you wouldn't still choose to eat it. With the season now as dead in the water as an extra from Jaws; it's time to change it up.
Whether Alex Neil gets the sack is now irrelevant. It could be beneficial to get a guy in now to look over the players, it might be better for the club to wait for the close season as better candidates could be available. (Deep breath) It might even be better to leave him in situ as he must know better than anyone which shirkers and bottlers need shipping out.
However we decide to proceed, I hope we see more of Pritchard, Maddison, Godfrey and a few others. Being this bad has presented us with an unexpected opportunity to blood players in competitive fixtures; I hope we take it.
I've a funny feeling that these young and hungry lads might just put our millionaire misfits to shame. I've another funny feeling that they'd be too arrogant to notice.