Poor old Andrew Lawn made the trip South to Brighton full of hope and optimism. Unfortunately all he found was homophobia and clueless defending. Let him take you through it....
Random star performer
This is going to be a hard game to review. It was like a bad dream in which you remember the overall feeling of unending hopelessness but hardly any of the actual moments.
The performances were the same, universally hopeless. The star? Maybe the teenage amputee who was introduced to the crowd at half time. He did after all say "when they told me they'd have to amputate above the knee I did think I might never play football again". That's the kind of optimism I like.
Moment of the match.
Errrrm. Let's see. Can I move on? Or use the optimistic lad again?
I think Wes hit a half volley straight at Stockdale just after we went 2-0 down. That was nice.
Biggest positive to take
It's over and can't ever happen again. A positive? Really? Maybe the fact Tettey can't possibly put in such a shocker next week as he's banned?
Nope sorry. Nothing else.
Ah now here we go. Where shall I begin?
Concourse and train singing. It wouldn't be as annoying if those same people sung in the ground. They don't. 5 lads on the train in green and yellow wigs spent the entire train journey singing a catchy (and sweary) ditty about Alex Pritchard. They stood near me in the ground. Near silence all game.
The train after the game was worse as now the (different) lads had turned homophobic. Sometimes being bald is a bonus and a combination of looking hard and telling them to shut up worked. Who are these people? Chanting is ace. I love it so much I wrote a book about it. But the point is to support your team, not be a boorish arse.
Oh and the game was shit. Every single player without exception was shit. Shit shit shit.
Not the whole problem but part of it. A full fat homer. Cowardly decision making, led entirely by the home crowd. Inconsistent, weak and had an annoying jog.
In bits and pieces it was really good. However, why do we only sing each song for 10 seconds before getting bored? And where do all the concourse singers go?
Not that fun but then an omnishambles of a defensive performance is never really jolly. Can I leave it there? It was dreadful and you all know how dreadful. Perhaps more worrying was Russell Martin's dejected post match comments. The man was nearly in tears when stating "too many lads gave up" and "it's more than alarming, it's embarassing." No shit Russ.